It Was a Dark and Stormy Run

Sorry for the delayed post.  I haven’t been on my computer in ages.  But my new job is awesome and keeping me busy, and I actually HAVE been running.  I actually did a 5k on Saturday and I am proud to report that I finally broke 25 minutes.  I am now in the big leagues.

I have just also learned how to make custom workouts for my Forerunner 410.  What makes this awesome is that I can name my workouts something like this:

Don’t be a bitch.

There are pros and cons with running outside.  You have things to see.  You meet people (on a “hi, bye” basis).  You have hills and grass and all sorts of elevations and verticals to overtake.  But when Nature turns into her bitchy side or goes into one of those sullen moods where she HAS to make everyone else miserable, she really brings it down on you.

New York has been witnessing some of the most miserable depressing unusual weather since April.  Wind, rain, blackouts (yup, had one yesterday), impending thunderstorms…brief moments and scattered days of sunshine.  It’s like Nature took some crazy pills and maxed out the prescription.

This reminds me of some time back in June 2008.  My roommate and I were stuck indoors in Orlando, not working in Hell Disneyworld that day.  Fortunately too, because the storms were brewing something nasty.  Cumulus clouds (the ones that stack up) gathering into a massive atomic cloud that seemed to engulf the sky (Insert shameless unmentionable movie soon to be released July 20th) —I half expected the Batman Logo to burst down towards us.

We expected the rain.  It was a shitstorm, like things I haven’t seen since Thailand when the typhoons hit.  What we didn’t expected was the daytime sound and light show.

There is a certain elegance when you are running, bearing witness to a thunderstorm.  It starts innocently enough–the gathering grey clouds, the breeze flapping trees and leaves about.  Then comes the smell–you know it if you’re out enough: that distinct aroma of wet grass that clings into the air molecules, screaming, “This storm’s a big one.  Hold on to your BUTTS.”  At this point the clouds have gathered to the point that the sky is plunged into a moody darkness, the sun is gone, and then–

It’s like Nature held a camera to your face and suddenly took a candid shot of you.  Ka-CHOW, there’s your stupid face as you go “whoa something bright”.  As sparkles dazzle your eyes, twinkling eyebursts across your retinas, your ears register something in the distance.  It’s that cascade that tumbles across the cloud, the small crackle that rolls over, and over, and over like the drummer army from the opening ceremonies of Beijing 2008 (you know, the one that said “This ceremony’s a big one.  Hold on to your BUTTS.”).

It starts with that one, fat, teardrop that drops from the sky, targeting you like someone from the sky let loose a loogie.  It hits your unsuspecting face, you look up, and then the rain comes down.  It gets to the ponit that while you’re running, you can’t even tell what’s rain and what’s spit and what’s sweat.  All you know is that it’s GLORIOUS.

I digress.  We’re back in 2008 in Orlando.  It’s the midst of a seriously major storm.  Wind’s blowing at 30-40 mph, we could actually see lightning striking mere yards away from us.  And what did I do?

The wind blew off my shirt. And shoes…and sanity.

I looked at my roommate and went, “I want to go out there.”  I gave him my phone for a photo op.  Take a photo of me as I run a couple of laps around the back pond in this shitstorm.

All I knew as I ran was that at any moment, lighting was going to hit me.  The rain was coming down so hard I felt like I was getting beaten down by the water.  There were frogs and toads scrambling to get underwater or under a safe haven.  Trees were groaning as the wind beat down on them, threatening to fall upon me.  Lightning flashed on rooftops nearby.  I was terrified.And at the same time, I was having the time of my life.

So the next time you see a storm brewing.  Don’t wuss out.  Put on your shoes, and go batshit.  It’s your way of saying “suck it, Nature.”**

**As an afterthought, actually, DON’T run in a thunderstorm.  You don’t want to die.  I’m just insane.

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